Cordillera Blanca Peru 2009- in Memory of Victor Sanchez Caldua

In July of 2009, I had the opportunity to climb several mountains in Peru with a highly accomplished mountain guide, Victor Sanchez Caldua.  Victor and I became friends and we maintained frequent communication planning future climbing trips in his beloved Cordillera Blanca outside his hometown of Huaraz. I returned to Peru in 2011 to attempt to climb Alpamayo and Huascaran.  Reports of these climbs were included in previous blogs on this site.  I was not able to climb with Victor in 2011 as he had already booked several clients for Alpamayo and a few other peaks during the several weeks I was able to spend in Peru.  Nevertheless, on this second trip to Peru I spent considerable time with him, his wife, Alicia, and his two daughters Vanessa and Estefany. After I fell short in my attempt to summit Alpamayo in 2011, I had hoped to return to Peru in 2013 or 2014 to attempt Alpamayo again, and Victor and I had been e-mailing each other about this possibility. Tragically, I received word in May that Victor and another technical guide died in an avalanche on Alpamayo while preparing the route for some Swiss climbers they were guiding.  This was quite a shock and I still find it difficult to believe he is gone.  He was an outstanding climber and guide, and an incredibly positive and upbeat person who truly enjoyed his family and friends, his beloved mountains, and his country.  He leaves behind his wife Alicia and two daughters, Vanessa and Estefany. After climbing with Victor in 2009, I had started a blog/trip report, but time got away and I never finished it. However, after learning of this tragedy, I decided to finish this blog of my first trip to Peru to honor the memory of my friend, Victor Sanchez Caldua, and the great time we had together in 2009.  In starting again on this half-completed blog four years after my trip, I have been on quite the emotional roller coaster.  I know few people will ever read this, but I've written it primarily for me.  Taking the time to review my experiences with Victor has been therapeutic for me and I will forever treasure the memories recorded here of my special time with him.

The first part of my 2009 trip to Peru was a non-climbing activity.  My wife, Barb, and I traveled with friends and acquaintances from Timberline Church in Fort Collins to the city of Iquitos in northeastern Peru.  Iquitos is in the Amazon Basin and considered the largest city in the world without a road to get there.  We helped staff a temporary medical clinic in an impoverished area of the city and I also had the opportunity to give a lecture at the medical school located in Iquitos.

Together with Peruvian colleagues, we set up our medical clinic in an elementary school and in addition to medical services led by Dr. Milford Thieszen and Dr. Steve Broman, our group established a temporary eye clinic under the leadership of Dr. Bob Larson, as well as a dental office, pharmacy, and physical therapy clinic.  All together we treated approximately 500 individuals, most of whom had little or no access to any sort of health care.  I got up at 5:30 each morning in Iquitos to run, knowing my cardiovascular conditioning would be important when climbing in the Andes the next week. The last day in the Iquitos area we took a trip up a tributary of the Amazon and spent time with a remote tribe, the Boras, who welcomed us warmly.



Dan Thomas, a recent CSU graduate and I took turns givng brief presentations on prevention of parasitic infestations. 
The children got a kick out of our poor Spanish and the pictures depicting where NOT to poop.

Volleyball is popular in all parts of Peru

We stopped at an animal reserve along the Amazon and saw this Tapir, my grandson Cedar's favorite animal.

    

After a week in the Iquitos area our group went on to Cuzco and to Macchu Piccu and enjoyed seeing an entirely different geographic area of Peru.  Macchu Piccu is one of the most beautiful places I have been (that does not have snow). 

Two of the beautiful sites in Peru:  Barb and Macchu Piccu

After several days in the Cuzco area our group returned to Lima for a day of urban exploration, and then everyone but me returned to the U.S.  I journeyed on to Huaraz, the gateway to climbing in the Cordillera Blanca.

Huascaran Sur at 22,200 feet looms large above the city of Huaraz.

Huaraz is situated at an elevation of 10,000 feet at the base of the Cordillera Blanca of the Andes Mountains. 

I arrived in Huaraz about 10AM on July 15th and met Victor Sanchez Caldua for the first time.  He gave me a very warm and friendly greeting with an infectious smile and expressed his obvious happiness in spending the next 8 days showing me his beautiful 'backyard'. After checking into my hostel, I took off for a planned acclimatization hike outside of Huaraz to Laguna (Lake) Churup.  Having been in the Amazon Basin at close to sea level for much of the previous week, I was unsure how I would adjust to the altitude. The hike entails a gain in altitude of approximately 3000 ft. to a height of 14,600 feet at the lake, which drains the receding glacier on Churup Peak. I hiked with Edith, Victor's sister-in-law, and we made it up and down in about 3.5 hours.  It was fairly straight foward, but several hundred vertical feet shy of the Lake, there are some class 3 and 4 sections that involve some fun scrambling and climbing at the side of water fall with a bit of exposure. Cresting the final rise I found the lake to be a beautiful aqua color and unbelievably clear, with the snow-clad Churup Peak towering above.  I had read several websites that indicated the hike to and from the Lake took about 6-8 hours, so I was pleased to do it in half the time. Later, I heard Edith telling Victor that I was 'un hombre fuerte', which meant Victor would expect me to climb at his pace. 

Laguna (Lake) Churup (altitude 14,600 feet) sits at the base of Churup Peak. 

Upon returning to Huaraz, I went to Victor's home for dinner where his entire extended family was gathered for a birthday party for Estefany, Victor's and Alicia's 4-year old daughter. Estefany was fascinated by my sparse and light-colored (gray) hair and wanted to sit on my lap much of the evening.  She and I became good buddies and later I practiced my Spanish with her and she her English with me.  She was a very patient with all of my mistakes, unlike my high school Spanish teacher!

For Estefany's birthday, Alicia prepared the quintessential celebratory dinner of Cuy (guinea pig), which I found to taste like rabbit, kangaroo, rattlesnake, and anything else that tastes like chicken.



Victor had a special love for his daugthers as only a parent can.  It is difficult for me to know that Vanessa and Estefany now have no Dad to light their birthday cake candles...

Victor's smile in this photo is indicative of how much he loved making Alicia, Vanessa, and Estefany feel special. 



The evening with Victor's entire extended family was heart-warming and fun.  I felt incredibly blessed to be in my situation--a stranger to the family until yesterday and now made to feel like it was my birthday as much as Estefany's.  I only wished my Spanish-speaking abilities were better so I could enjoy deeper conversation with others in Victor's family who speak no English.  After many hours of enjoyment, I retired to my hostel to get a good night's sleep.  However, owing to the anticipation of leaving for basecamp in the Ishinca Valley the next day, sleep was elusive.  Also, the rooster crowing outside my window at 4:30 the next morning made it more difficult to catch some of the precious winks I wanted. 

July 16- Victor, Frael, and I left Huaraz with a week's worth of supplies.  The goal for the next week was to hike into the Ishinca Valley and set up basecamp at 14,000 feet.  From here we would climb Ishinca (18,143 ft / 5530 m) for acclimatization for the higher and more difficult Tocllaraju.  We arrived at the trailhead for Ishinca Quebrada late that morning and begin our 9-mile hike to set up our basecamp. 

Before taking off, Victor's mom showed up at the trailhead to say goodbye. She is very proud of her son!



Frael, nuestro cocinero y Victor, nuestro gran guía, comiencen la caminata de 16 kilómetros hacia el valle de Inshica al campamento base. (Frael and Victor begin the 9 mile trek to the Ishinca Valley to set up basecamp. 



The Ishinca Valley guarded by the imposing Tocllaraju Peak

Quite the scenic view from inside my tent!

After setting up our tents at basecamp at 14,000 feet, we drank tea, ate some popcorn and rested for a bit.  Then I set out to explore my surroundings in the beautiful Ishinca Valley.  I can't sit still very well and was curious as to where we would start early the next morning to attempt our summit of Ishinica, 4100 feet higher than basecamp.  Frael prepared a great supper that evening of fried trout, potatoes, coleslaw, and rice.  As is typical for me at altitude, I lose my appetite even for my favorite foods, but I forced myself to finish the dinner. I retired to bed early and spent several hours reading Tim Keller's book, The Reason for God, which I have come to believe is one of the best book's ever written arguing for the existence of a personal God.  It is very well reasoned and I find Keller's arguments compelling. Finally, feeling a bit tired and my mind weary of trying to digest the complexities of God and life, I set my alarm for 2AM, turned off my head lamp and settled in for what I hoped would be 6 hours of restful sleep.

Unfortunately, my hopes were not realized, and I had a restless night.  I never sleep well in a tent--I struggle a bit with claustrophobia and just can't seem to get comfortable for more than a few minutes before needing to shift positions.  Also, despite my sleeping bag being rated to 10 degrees F, I was cold much of the night.  Upon arising in the early morning I recorded this in my journal, ..."this (cold sleeping bag) does not bode well for my ability to stay warm at night when we move our camp up to 17,200' prior to out attempt to summit Tocllaraju".

My alarm went off at 2:00AM on July 17 signaling that it was time to begin the onerous preparations for our summit bid of Ishinca.  This aspect of climbing is extremely distasteful--climbing out of a sleeping bag with the ambient temperature in the tent well below freezing, and putting on layers of clothing while shivering in the dark--this is not exactly fun! However, Victor was his usual cheerful self, even at 2:30 in the morning as we breakfasted on fried eggs, white rolls with orange marmelaide and hot cups of Coca tea with honey,.  I wasn't at all hungry, but managed to get breakfast down with the goal of staying nourished in the face of strenuous exercise. Is it really breakfast if it is consumed at 2:30 AM? 

We set off unroped at 3:00AM to hike the steep scree to the Ishinca glacier. Victor, believing me to be 'un hombre fuerte' based on Edith's report of our acclimitization hike, set an extremely fast pace up the steep scree.  I failed to bring my trekking poles thinking I would just borrow some from Victor, but in the haste to leave his house the day before, the said poles were left behind.  My journal indicates the first 3 hours above basecamp were not particularly fun--actually it states that the hike was one of the most miserable I have ever experienced--lots of muttering on my part about trying to keep up with Victor, 30 years younger, who also had the advantage of using trekking poles.  Still, even when miserable. my competitive juices tend to flow, and I was determined to stay on his heels.  Finally, 3 hours after leaving basecamp, we stepped onto the glacier.  As the sky lightened, I put on my harness, tied into the rope, and donned my crampons and a better attitude.  There is something mysteriously nourishing for one's soul when the sun spreads its warmth and cheer on the pristine ivory of a cold mountain glacier.  A managed to snap a few photos before Victor tugged on the rope signaling time to re-commence our movement upward.

The rugged terrain of the Cordillera Blanca as the sun begins to lighten the canopy over the Ishinca glacier

Victor waiting patiently for me to put my camera away so we can get moving again.  I realized I could use a few photo ops as an excuse to catch my breath, a ploy he caught onto very quickly :).  



Ishnica in the early morning

At an altitude of 18,100 ft., Ishinca is dwarfed by other nearby peaks



We summited Ishinca in the early AM, making great time according to Victor.  I could have stayed on top for quite awhile basking at my good fortune of now experiencing an entirely different environment in the middle of the glacier-laden Peruvian Andes, having just a week before been at the other extreme, sweating in the lush Amazon basin.  

The Ishinca glacier is receding rapidly, which will make climbing much more difficult in future years.



The decent of Ishinca was rapid as we plunge-stepped our way down the glacier. I have always liked a rapid decent, and at one point Victor asked, "Why do you hurry?  Mas despacio es mejor! (More slowly is better)".  I could have said the same thing to him on our the ascent!

We passed the two individuals in this photo (two specs in the upper right hand corner) on our way down as they were going up.  They were huffing and puffing, with the steepest section for them yet ahead.  Hope they made it.  

A view of Tocllaraju from near the summit of Ishinca.  Victor tells me it will be a spectacular climb for us in the days ahead.  With so few days to truly acclimatize, I know Tocllaraju will literally take my breath away!

After our return to basecamp I recorded the following in my journal. "We flew down the mountain in record time.  In fact our round trip to the summit and back took only 6 hours and 20 minutes.  Back at basecamp Victor informed me that we beat his previous two-person round-trip climb of Ishinca by 40 minutes. I am so tired I can't imagine starting up Tocllaraju tomorrow. I have climbed 11,000 feet up and down the last 4 days without a whole lot of sleep and I need a day of rest to recuperate.  I wish that could happen, but we climb another 3200 feet of elevation tomorrow to set up camp one on Tocllaraju at 17,200 feet.  God give me strength!!" 

I spent most of the rest of the day in my tent resting, reading, relaxing, rehydrating--and also wishing I had more time to acclimitize to the high altitude!  I tried to eat more than my appetite dictated, but I know I am losing weight and also some strength. 

July 18th.  I woke up at 6:00 AM after a much tossing and turning in my bag. At breakfast Victor noticed I was quiet and he wanted to know if I was OK.  I expressed a few concerns about my ability to climb Tocllaraju without more rest and acclimatization and he listened patiently and then relayed his views.  He reminded me that I was "un hombre fuerte" (which I seriously questioned) and that I had come to Peru for the complete experience.  This included being tired and even a bit fearful on occasion.  He went on to tell me these are entirely normal feelings, so accept them and don't let them stand in the way of our grand adventure.  Victor has an uncanny ability to help change a person's perspective by his very positive approach to the mountains and life in general.  I reminded him that I am getting close to 60 years of age, and I might need to take things a bit more slowly.  He assured me that while getting to the summit of Tocllaraju is our next goal, we also need to enjoy our time in the mountains together.  I couldn't agree more. 

We set off for our next camp about 1:30 that afternoon, excited for the next chapter in this adventure.  We hiked steadily through a relentlessly steep morraine of rock and scree.  We took a few rest breaks on the way and I reminded myself often to look around and enjoy the surroundings and count my blessings at being able to engage in this activity. I actually felt great and was enjoying the cameraderie with my climbing companions. After about 3 hours of hiking on the morraine, we made it to the glacier.  To me, this is always a treat, as I never cease to be impressed with glacier geology.  Glaciers can be hundreds of feet thick with the unseen dynamic portions often honeycombed with deep voids and hidden crevasses. At times, the surface snow can be very compact like hard styrofoam, which is ideal for climbing with crampons and ice axes.  Or it can be loose and powdery, which does not afford good footing on steep slopes, or it can even be soft and mushy when explosed to the daylight sun.  The latter is very difficult to travel on, as with each step taken, one can sink up to his knees or even waist, which makes for tough going. We have no true deep glaciers in Colorado, which is one of the reasons I like being in the Andes so much.

Tocllaraju from near our high camp.  Looks beautiful and challenging with an altitude of 6032 meters (19,800 feet). Hope I am up to the challenge.

Rocky morraine meets snowy glacier

Victor. Frael, and Eloy pause for a short break on the way to high camp on Tocllaraju

Victor leads the way to high campat 17,200 feet...

Frael and Eloy moving toward our high camp. You can see the trail where we started our day's trek on the valley floor far below.

Ever onward to set up camp.  I saw a lot of Victor's back on this trip.  It is nice to have someone leading the way that knows his backyard mountains so well. 

From right to left:  Chris, Victor, Frael.  Our high camp was at 17,200 from where we started our summit bid the next morning.  Victor loved to point out other peaks and engage in conversations about next adventures. I was totally enamored with the colors cast by the setting sun. 

After pitching our camp, we ate dinner about 6:00 PM.  I had no appetite, but forced myself to eat anyway.  I wish I could bottle and patent high altitude in an anti-obesity pill.  Feeling nauseated and with a mild case of diarrhea, I retired to my tent, with the goal of sleeping until 1:00 AM.  We would begin our summit attempt at 2:00 AM and Victor had the goal of being on the summit within 4 hours of leaving our camp.  From my journal I recorded that "this seemed a bit ambitious and I again reminded Victor that although I work hard to prepare for these adventures, I am 57 years old!  He just laughed and told me I could do it". 

After crawling into my sleeping bag, with my feet wrapped in my down parka for warmth, I read for a bit, spent some time praying for my family and Victor and his family. At this point in my life, I had never slept higher than 15,500 feet, and now above 17,000 feet I just could not go to sleep.  I thought how ironic it is that when I need sleep the most, I am unable to even doze off for a few minutes.  Some climbers use sleeping pills at high altitude, but I am a bit of a purist in this regard and also do not want to have a sleeping pill take effect when I need to be alert and climbing. 

July 19: Finally at 1:00 AM our alarms sounded and we began our preparations. Even though I was awake just waiting for the alarm to go off, having to extricate myself from my sleeping bag was again quite unpleasant.  I managed to get my feet into my plastic climbing boots, but getting the two layers of laces tied proved maddening and exhausting with cold hands.  I suspect that beginning a climb in the dark while shivering and tired cannot be described as fun by even the most ardent alpinist. My view is that not only is it not fun, it's absolutely a miserable experience.  But the pay-offs are worth it!!

The following is an excerpt from my journal:  "...I put on all my clothing--three layers on the bottom, four layers on top.  I was still cold.  Frael made breakfast, but I couldn't eat it at 1:30AM.  We started off at 2:00AM and within 100 steps I knew that my usual stamina from the day before was absent. We (Victor, Eloy, a young 25 year old climber who joined us for Tocllaraju, and I) pushed on through the night with my headlamp losing power, so it was really dark. Many times I wanted to quit, but my self-talk told me to just keep moving, trying not to grow weary in mind even though my body was rebelling against this activity. Victor maintained his usual positive, affirming perspective and his encouragement kept my negative muttering at bay."  

"There are two cruxes to the climb plus the unrelenting ascent.  Several hundred vertical feet from the summit is a steep (60-70 degree) 165-foot head wall to be climbed with two ice tools in the dark with only our headlamps for light.  It takes a lot of arm strength swinging both axes, but I was excited to test my ability as this altitude.  Victor took the lead and I followed after he tugged on the rope signaling that he was tied in to an anchor above.  I was on-belay so was not scared and actually enjoyed the challenge despite the snow and ice being a bit too soft and crystalline to get a good purchase with the ice tools.  By the time I reached the top, I was exhausted but had a tremendous sense of accomplishment.  In talking later with Victor, he admitted he found this crux to be difficult and tiring as well. Knowing Victor, he was probably fibbing just to encourage me! :) The other crux of the climb is a 10 foot headwall that gave us access to the summit. This is daunting as it drops off several hundred feet below through space into a deep crevasse.  Strangely, I wasn't the least bit fearful of this final obstacle either. At close to 20,000 feet high, I guess I was just too tired to worry." 

Victor leads the climb of the headwall above 19,000 feet.  His climbing skills are outstanding, as is his stamina!

Glad Victor was confident we could avoid falling ice and hidden crevasses.  I might have had second thoughts about this section.

We encountered a number of gnarly crevasses near the summit as daylight finally arrives and Tocllaraju casts its shadow to the west.  On the decent, I actually fell through the small one to the right where you can see our foot prints in the snow.  Victor had me on a tight belay and I managed to extricate myself quickly.  I couldn't ask for a better person with whom to share a rope!

Victor negotiated this final 10 foot headwall to the summit and then belayed me up.

Victor told me that we were the first ones to summit Tocllaraju within the past week, I felt fortunate we had a great weather window allowing us to experience the fantastic views from the top. My photos in this blog were taken with a small pocket camera, but even such crude photography can't help but capture some of the incredible grandeur of these mountains.  Now on the summit in bright sunlight, the experience of spending most of the climb in the dark is long forgotten! 

Eloy and Victor on the summit.  Bright sun does not always bring balmy temperatures.  It was still cold!

Victor called the Cordillera Blanca his 'backyard' and made sure to point out all the major peaks we could see from the summit.

Our decent from the summit, like Ishinca, was again very rapid.  As I have often told others, the altitude seems to be less of an issue when working with, rather than against gravity. I recorded in my journal the following:  "Coming off the summit, I was able to see the great technical skills of Victor.  He is incredibly adept and fast at setting up belays via snow pickets and ice screws. I look forward to climbing with him again".

This is one of my favorite photos of Victor as he enjoys the decent from the summit.  He was kind enough to slow down so I could stop taking up the rope and instead take this photo with the starkly contrasting colors.   

Bomb proof rapell anchor down the headwall, which we now negotiate in reverse in the bright sunlight! 

A climbing team, one of only two other groups on Tocllaraju that day, begins their ascent of the headwall after we rappelled down. It was fun to view this in the bright light after ascending it in the dark. 

 

Parts of the descent were quite steep, but the surface quality of snow was great for traction so we often decided to forego using fixed anchors.



 

Looking back at the mountain we had just stood on top of 3 hours earlier.  The 3 French climbers descending Tocllaraju can be seen as 3 small dots in the mid-left portion of the picture. 

We were back at high camp by 9:00 AM for a real breakfast and then dismantled our tents and made a decent back to our basecamp arrving in the afternoon.  The decent was uneventful other than Frael, Eloy, and I getting into unspoken race to see who could reach basecamp first.  The competition took my mind off the monotony of down climbing through the steep morraine.   Once back at basecamp, Frael made a batch of popcorn and we snacked, talked, and rested for our departure the next day.  My diarrhea worsened and I began to develop a fever and nausea that evening. I was thankful it didn't hit earlier.  When I couldn't find the appetite to eat much dinner, Victor fixed a special brew for my intestinal ailment and like a mother hen insisted that I drink it. (although he wouldn't disclose the ingredients). Not knowing the contents, I was a bit reluctant to imbibe, but relented and downed the special potion.  That night I had the best sleep ever and woke up refreshed and without any symptoms of illness. 

July 20: Whatever was in the brew must have worked--it was likely not due to a placebo effect, as I was skeptical and to be honest only drank the brew to avoid hurting Victor's feelings.  My appetite returned and I ate a hearty breakfast of porridge and coco-mate.  Victor smiled when I thanked him for his special potion and when I queried him further about its contents, he just said it was a family remedy that has special healing powers and works everytime!    

After breakfast we packed up our camp, loaded the heavier gear on the backs of burros and set off to hike the 9 miles back to the trailhead and made record time. Again Frael and I got into a few races and despite his heavier pack he beat back to to the trailhead. Back at the trailhead, Vanessa, Victor's daughter arrived to see her Dad. He loves his children and together he maximizes his time with family when not in the mountains.  

Vanessa, Victor's 9-year old daughter caught a ride with the Lorry driver who came to pick us up at the trailhead. Victor was so happy to see her.  Nothing like a father's love for his daughter. 

Back in Huraz I headed to my hostel for a nice shower and then off to a sit-down dinner in a restaurant.  The food wasn't any better than what we ate in the mountains, I just had a better appetite in the oxygen-rich environment of 10,000 feet. The locally-brewed cerveza also tasted great!

July 21.  After a good night's rest in the hostel, I ate breakfast at the non-profit 'Seeds for Hope in Peru'.  I then walked a few miles to Victor's home where I spent the entire day with Victor and his family.  They graciously fed me lunch and supper and Victor and I discussed plans for him to come to Colorado sometime in the next several years. I assured him that I would provide the same hospitality he had provided me.  I also conversed with many different extended family members throughout the day. Victor's home was clearly the hub for a tremendous amount of activity. In the afternoon for several hours, I read books to Estefany and practiced my Spanish with her and taught her English words for the pictures in her books we read. I checked my e-mail and was excited to receive a You Tube video of my grandchildren, Addie and Eli, and took great pride in showing Victor and his family mi Nieta y mi Nieto. They were especially enthralled with Addie's very blonde, almost white, hair. My bus from Huaraz to Lima left that night at 10:30 and Victor insisted on taking me to the bus station.  Despite the late hour Alicia, Vanessa, and Estefany also accompanied us, and Estefany sat on my lap on the way (there appeared to be no child safety restraint laws) which was a treat for me. We hugged good-bye and I expressed my thanks for such a great experience with them all, with promises that we would see each other again. Estefany asked Victor and Alicia if she could come with me. What a cutie!






Estefany liked wearing my REI cap! 



Vanessa, Alicia holding another extended family member, Victor, and Estefany

Epilogue- I traveled to Peru again two years later in 2011, with the trip report included earlier in this Blogspot.  I was able to spend quite a bit of time with Victor and his family again and our friendship grew deeper. On May 26, 2013 I received an e-mail from another Peruvian climber, Victor Saenz, with the tragic news that Victor was caught in an avalanche on Alpamayo and was missing.  I communicated by e-mail frequently with Alicia and Victor Saenz over the next month, feeling the their anguish in losing their husband and dear friend, respectively.  Victor's body was recovered on Alpamayo almost 6 weeks after the avalanche. He never had the opportunity to come to Colorado to meet my extended family, which saddens me greatly.  I miss my friend and my heart aches for Alicia, Vanessa, and Estefany, as well as his other family members and friends. But I count my blessings in having had the opportunity to spend such a special time with Victor and his family.  My life has been forever enriched by his!!  To Alicia, Vanessa, and Estefany--Lord willing, I hope to return to Peru to visit you  I pray that God will comfort you amidst the pain of your loss, and that your many special memories of your husband and dad will brighten your countenance in the midst of your grief.